


Brave

by type_40_consulting_detective



Series: Sometimes He is Brave [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Self-Destruction, Trans Sherlock, Transitioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 12:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3134882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/type_40_consulting_detective/pseuds/type_40_consulting_detective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Brave</i>. Victor had called him brave when Sherlock told him during winter break of sixth form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brave

**Author's Note:**

> While I do know a few Trans men, I do not have a lot of experience on the topic. Please message me on [tumblr](type40consultingdetective.tumblr.com/ask) or leave me a comment if I have done something wrong or disrespectful, as that was not my intention.

**“The sparrows jumped before they knew how to fly, and they learned to fly only because they had jumped”  
― Lauren Oliver, Liesl  & Po**

 

_Brave_. Victor had called him brave when Sherlock told him during winter break of sixth form. That word came out most often, though there was also _handsome_ and _brilliant_ in fairly frequent rotation. Sherlock had only just started his medical transition then, though he’d been living off and on in his true gender for almost two, depending on who he was around. He was legally still Charlotte Elizabeth Holmes, but that name only passed Victor’s lips once, mostly to cement it in his mind, should it ever be needed in emergency. 

Victor never fussed at him when he didn’t eat, or urged him into ultra masculine clothes to make certain he passed. Victor was perfectly wonderful, until the hormones started to do their job on Sherlock’s body. His soft curves sharpened and his body took on fresh muscle while the puppy fat layer was shed, burned off when Sherlock didn’t eat.

“You never initiate any more.” Sherlock observed one night over dinner at the flat, sitting on opposite ends of the couch. “And it’s not due to my higher libido.”

“What do you want me to say, Sher?” Victor sighed, setting down his food and turning to face his boyfriend.

“Truth. You’re disgusted by me.”

“I’m not love, it’s just...everything’s changing so fast. Everytime I touch you, it’s different.”

“I want to be different.”

“I know you do. And it’s good for you, Sher. I’m happy for you. It’s just hard to not know your body under my hands.”

“I…” Sherlock had no good reply. It was finally becoming his body, finally righting the biological mistake of his gender. His flatter chest felt familiar, when the swell of breast had not. 

“You dread touching me.” Sherlock pressed. “You think one day it won’t be me you’re touching. I’ve never been more _me_ , Victor. I’ve never been more comfortable inside this transport.”

“Sherlock, come here love, I’m sorry.”

“You’re not.“

“Stop doing that to me, I am.”

“You want to be, but you’re not. You wish I was soft again.”

“Well if you know both side of the conversation then, why even say it outloud? You’re wrong, Sherlock.”

“I’m never wrong.”

Victor stood, crossing the sitting room and snagging his keys and phone off the side table.

“Where are you going?”

“Home, apparently. You won’t listen, I’m done talking. Ring me when this fit is over, and I’ll be back.”

“Stay. Sherlock stood, moving towards him, pressing him to the door and reaching for a kiss.

“You think I’m disgusted by your body, and you throw yourself at me.” Victor sighed, pressing him back by the shoulders. “What does that say about you?”

Sherlock stood in silence as the door opened, then shut. He stood for a long time, he’d no idea how long. His mind traveled over every thread of the conversation, looking for what went wrong. He wasn’t even sure what he meant to achieve, but it wasn’t this, his partner gone and him alone and needing touch. 

A double dose of valium later, Sherlock didn’t care much what happened, he was going out to find some fun. He put on a leftover party dress from before, knowing it will be easier to pull if he presents female. Dolling up his cupid’s bow lips in a cherry red and frosting his lids in a copper shimmer, he tried not to look too closely at himself. It was a costume, nothing more, no reason to fret. He practiced his higher voice, giving it a little desperate roughness, and stepped into his low heels. He was sex on legs, and there was no way he was going home alone tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> A big thankyou to [Diann](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifullyheeled) for telling me I could do it, and then poking me gently until I did. Everyone deserves a wonderful friend like her. 


End file.
